Nicholas Bredimus
Nick Bredimus Biography

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Fourth, when the other person is speaking, do not be thinking of what to say next. Believe me that listening involves your mind as well as your ears, and you cannot be a good listener if your mind is elsewhere. Do not be afraid of the resulting pause when the other person stops speaking. Use this time to think or allow the other person to reflect on what she just said.

Finally, for thousands of years the simple “question” has been used by great communicators to obtain greater understanding. A question is a compliment to the other person and not a display of your own ignorance. When you think you understand something, avoid making a statement and instead turn the statement into a question, such as “Oh, is that important to you?” A greater understanding will result.

These five points of eye contact, personalizing, empathy, listening, and questioning have a firm basis in human psychology, but do not be overwhelmed and miss the simplicity of them. Try to catch yourself inadvertently using these points (we all do them at one time or another) and observe the results. I think that you will agree with me that they are the key to effective communication.